Every January 1st, millions of us promise to become entirely new people. By January 14th, we’re back to being the same old humans we’ve always been — complete with our Netflix marathons, cookie binges, and dusty gym shoes. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s like we’re all auditioning for a tragic comedy about self-improvement.
Remember how inspired you were? “This is my year,” you told yourself, eyes sparkling with ambition. You bought kale. You signed up for a gym. You downloaded an app to learn French. For approximately five days, you were unstoppable. Then life intervened. Kale wilted. The gym became a distant memory. And as for French? Bonjour became bon-bye.
Experts (and by experts, I mean my friend Ruth) argue that resolutions fail because they’re too ambitious. “Work out every day!” you declared, forgetting how cozy your couch is. “No sugar!” you vowed, while conveniently ignoring the cupcakes in the office kitchen. It’s not that we lack willpower — it’s that we overestimate how exciting broccoli can be.
The truth is, resolutions are fun in theory but painful in practice. They rely on optimism. And optimism, like a new gym membership, often fizzles out once the novelty wears off. Instead of berating ourselves, let’s embrace the inevitable. January is for trying. February is for forgetting.
So here’s a new resolution for you: stop making resolutions. Or better yet, resolve to make fun resolutions. “Eat dessert weekly.” “Nap whenever possible.” These are achievable. Plus, you’ll never have to feel guilty about breaking them.
In the meantime, let’s all agree to stop lying to ourselves about our January ambitions. The treadmill will survive without us, and the kale will find another purpose — probably compost. Life is too short to feel bad about abandoned resolutions. Now, pass the doughnuts.
